|
Aries
20th March -
18th April
Ruling planet: Mars
Ruling element: Fire
Favourite chocolate:
Duchy Original Mint Thin
Aries dancers
can be reckless, determined
and focused. Nothing will stand in their way if they can help it,
including people. They are excellent leaders and dance particularly well
with other fire signs. However their energy levels and competitive nature
can make
them a liability to others on the dance floor. They donąt take criticism
well. For the sake of your health, don't tell an Aries they are wrong,
especially if they are near any sharp objects or in control of machinery.
Mind you, if you are dancing with someone who is near any sharp
objects or in control of machinery, you are doing it wrong. Ask your
teacher for advice.
This month: A bad decision about
fruit will come back to haunt you.
Next
month: You neglect yourself by focusing on others, especially when
driving.
|
|
Taurus
19th April -
19th May
Ruling planet:
Venus
Ruling element:
Earth
Favourite chocolate:
Chocolate money
You seek mastery and
power over material things as a way of understanding the spiritual truth
of life. Emotional and material security is important to you
and you will use all your sense of determination to achieve it. No
one can turn you from your goals or opinions once your mind is set.
To say you are stubborn and willful would not overstate the case. A strong lead is not in itself
a good thing. It is particularly so if you attempting moves that
would scare the life out of an Olympic gymnast.
This month:
Your lucky pants run out of magic.
Next
month:
The combination of your indecisiveness and a freak meeting with a
rhino proves to be your downfall.
|
|
Gemini
20th
May - 20th June
Ruling planet: Mercury
Ruling element: Air
Favourite chocolate:
Roses (divided into categories)
Most
famous Gemini poet: Bob Dylan
Gemini's are insatiably curious.
This is combined with an urge to classify things - thoughts, words and
things. You have a thirst for knowledge that makes you a good student but
without discipline you have a butterfly mentality, hopping from person to
person, place to place and creating confusion. Geminis have been
known to switch partners mid-dance. This is generally not a good
thing. You can get upset when things do not run your way but switching partners mid-dance isn't going to
help.
You fear commitment and have a tendency to keep some distance from those
around you. If you're keeping a distance from your partner as well
as switching partners, you could be said to have some fundamental flaws as a
dancer.
This month: You are in line for lots of
interesting half-dances. Next
month: You win the leadership contest of the Conservative party. Next
year: You resign as leader of the Conservative party. |
|
Cancer
21st June -
21st July
Ruling planet: Moon
Ruling element:
Cheese
Favourite chocolate:
The long-lamented Aztec bar
Cancerians are generally
the most sensitive sign in the Zodiac. Although you may appear tough,
extreme sensitivity lies just under the surface, as does your fear of
ridicule. Your emotional complexity means that few will understand
you as your moods switch. You never joke about yourself, which is a big
mistake because you could be missing out on some excellent material.
You are likely to be egocentric and reluctant to do anything you do not
want to do. These are admirable qualities in Third World dictators, not
so good for social dancers in the Home Counties. The thoughts of
others confuse your own thinking processes but once decided on a course
you stick to it and bring it to a successful conclusion. These are
traits that should be suppressed to improve your qualities as a dancer,
and even as a person.
This month:
You find a golden
ticket.
Next
month: You are offered work as a celebrity lookalike, either
Neil or Christine Hamilton. You decline.
|
|
Leo
22nd July – 22nd
August
Ruling planet: Sun
Ruling element:
Fire
Your secret personal quality:
You possess a cloak of invisibility
Favourite chocolate: Green and Black's
General:
Leos crave approval and admiration. You want to demonstrate your talents
in the spotlight yet still treat others in a generous way. You are often
the centre of attention and are happy to make the effort to make things
happen. You are attractive and generous but can easily become lazy
and unpredictable if you don't achieve your aims. You are an amusing
pleasure as a dance-partner, but have to work at not being a
short-lived one.
This month:
Someone will steal your identity. Then they'll give it back. Next
month: You accidently have an affair with a cabinet minister which you
greatly regret. Your boss gives you unequivocal support and you quit your
family to spend more time with your job. |
|
Virgo
23rd
August - 21st
September
Ruling planet:
Mercury
Ruling element:
Earth
Favourite chocolate:
Doggy chocs
Virgos are analysers.
They are meticulous and thoughtful. This is an admirable quality
provided it is balanced by application. The tendency is to ignore
feelings. They tend to overwork to the point of self-denial.
Fear can bring on reclusive behavior in Virgos too. As a dancer you
should really practice less and dance more. This is much more
difficult if you live a hermit existence, even more so if you start
wearing tin-foil on your head.
This month
Nothing, but nothing, happens this month. Next
month: You are personally responsible for the transmigration of bird
flu to humans. |
|
Libra
22nd September -
22nd October
Ruling planet:
Venus
Ruling element:
Air
Favourite chocolate:
Mint Aero
Librans are graceful and charming.
You are conscientious and interested in new ideas. You are fair and
just, and support those in need. You seek harmony and control your
anger - up to a point. But when you loose it, as you do, you find
they have named a new hurricane after you, and with good reason.
Librans are a joy to be around, if you enjoy dangerous sports.
This month
A spot of wardrobe-cleansing goes disastrously wrong. |
|
Scorpio
23rd October -
21st
November
Ruling planet: Pluto
Ruling element:
Gin
Favourite chocolate:
A Finger of Fudge
Scorpios are more intense
than any other sign. You pursue your desires through adversity,
hence the ruthless and dangerous moves you make on the dance floor.
You direct all your energies to your goals and are renowned for attempting
extravagant moves in tightly packed areas with a less than total regard for the
feelings and safety of other dancers. You hate to
see weakness in yourself or others. This self-delusion is your
weakest point. You should try and listen to others more,
particularly to anyone who is trying to sell you insurance.
This month: An
old episode of Columbo surprises you. Next
month: In a case of mistaken identity you are offered the chance to
present Crimewatch. |
|
Sagittarius
22nd November –
20th
December
Ruling planet:
Pluto
Ruling element:
Fire
Favourite chocolate:
Kit Kat
You are honest,
straightforward and perceptive. You
attract good fortune through your genuine concern for others.
You are generous with friends but implacable with enemies.
Sagittarians are the World’s grudge-holding champions and your
unfailing honesty is often your undoing.
You need to learn that, “That was an adequate dance, you could do
better,” is not likely to be taken as a compliment.
This month You
find a mobile phone. It rings.
It’s a wrong number.
|
|
Capricorn
21st
December – 18th January
Ruling planet: Saturn
Ruling element:
Earth
Favourite chocolate:
Chocolate Orange
You are
determined to make something of yourself in life, materially and
otherwise. You are always
looking to progress. You
accept no barriers and proceed methodically.
Your technical ability as a dancer is undoubted.
You are, however, prone to melancholy and loneliness.
Reviewing your somewhat cold, calculating approach to life might
help to stop people thinking of you as a dancing fish.
This month:
An invitation to a party leads to a rare complaint.
|
|
Aquarius
19th
January – 17th February
Ruling planet: Uranus
Ruling element:
Air
Favourite chocolate:
Bounty Bar
You
are a people person, always drawn to the crowd.
You have faith in humanitarian causes and values. You treat
everyone as your equal and expect the same in return, while you are always
loyal to your friends. You are extremely catholic in your choice of dance partners.
This gives rise to the risk of dancing gridlock as the disparity
between yours and your partner's abilities becomes apparent.
This month:
You renew your interest in origami.
|
|
Pisces
18th
February - 19th
March
Ruling planet:
Neptune
Ruling element:
Water
Favourite chocolate:
M&S chunky bar
You are a very responsive
as a person. You have an innate feeling for the problems of humanity and believe
that you can solve them through your own abilities. You will be drawn to
help people in your work, and are likely to have exceptional artistic
talent. At your best you can be unselfish but you can become indecisive
and find it hard to make decisions and function in the real world on a
practical level. This means you can be a very creative dancer, but also
restricted by your own indecision. The sight of a Piscean dancer
rooted to the floor unable to decide on what move to make next is not
unknown. It is something to be treasured, by others, if not
yourself.
This month: Strangers
arrive at your door suggesting that your floorboards need to be taken up.
|
